Therapeutic dose

This past semester may have been unnecessarily hard for me. I don't think I have yet reached the therapeutic dose with Lexapro, since it has been a lot easier to have panic attacks. Things that used to bother me but didn't phase me while on Paxil have been bothering me again. Not sure why I didn't try upping my dosage until now when my anxiety threshold is even less. Managed to pass my courses with B's despite oftentimes white knuckling it and being unable to think straight. I'm done with classes for my MA program but still have my thesis to get through. I will also be teaching a section of Linguistics 101 in the spring so I really need to get my act together. I've upped my Lexapro dosage to 15 although my prescriber will not be back from vacation until Tuesday. I seem to already feel a little better though that may just be psychosomatic since it is probably too soon to tell. Upside is that I have been losing the Paxil weight, enough so that people are noticing and telling me.

Sans Paxil

I forgot to take my 5mg of Paxil last night so I'm just going to say I'm done with Paxil. No withdrawal effects so far (usually I'd be feeling it by now). Hooray! This is supposed to be a very hard drug to wean off of and I felt like I got lucky. The only rough part was this past weekend and even that was not so bad! Next up, to take off all the weight I put on while on Paxil. Excitement!

Almost through with Paxil

I had been worried that I would have to postpone decreasing my Paxil dosage to 5mg since I was experiencing some less than fun withdrawal symptoms over the weekend. However, I felt much better by Monday night/Tuesday morning and so I am happy to say that I have successfully decreased my Paxil intake to 5mg with no further withdrawal symptoms so far. I don't seem to be as on edge as I had been over the weekend either.

I have also been on 10mg of Lexapro for a few days now. I will remain on that dosage until at least my followup in November--I don't feel like an increase in dosage would be necessary.

Paxil withdrawals

I've been on 10mg of Paxil for 5 nights (tonight will be night 6) and 5mg of Lexapro for 5 days (tomorrow will be day 6). I've been getting dizzy spells (definitely the Paxil withdrawal) and also nausea whenever I eat anything (perhaps a temporary side effect of newly taking Lexapro or maybe Paxil withdrawal). I've definitely been on-edge since at least Friday (noise sensitive, impatient, easy to lose my temper) and so it makes it easier to have a panic attack, but, it's been manageable albeit exhausting. Hoping to go down to 5mg of Paxil Monday night, but if I still feel pretty dizzy, I'll delay that transition a bit. I had a very active week last week (lots of intense fitness classes and a long bike ride) with the exception of Friday when I started to feel not so well. All in all, it seems like my withdrawal symptoms aren't as bad as they could be and for that I am thankful.

Too much booty in the pants?

I took my first 5mg of Lexapro this morning and will be decreasing my Paxil tonight to 10mg. My first decrease to 15mg began last Tuesday (Sept 13). I reported in my first post on Thursday night that I was starting at 177 lbs -- actually for a long time I always lingered around 179 or 180 and was kind of surprised to see myself at 177 lbs on the second day of weaning. I attributed it to weight fluctuation and not to the weaning, but, maybe I am seeing results already because I weighed myself today and now I am at 175. No matter how hard I worked or how strict I kept my diet while I was on 20mg of Paxil, I could never get to 175! And, what's more, is that although I have been exercising, I haven't been as strict about my diet. Sure, I eat pretty healthily anyway, but, I treated myself to some fancy chocolates over the weekend -- something I wouldn't do if I were being strict on myself (only sugars I would have would come from fruits). I also had some delicious three cheese semolina bread -- another thing I would have avoided if I were being strict (I would keep it to only high fiber sprouted oat breads). I'm looking forward to seeing this weight come off while being able to enjoy treat foods again!

Transitions

I have decided to say farewell to paroxetine (Paxil), a serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) I have been taking for a year and a half for panic disorder (anxiety). A quick search on the Internet will find you all sorts of negative rants about this drug but I am truly grateful it exists, despite my decision to wean myself off of it.

My only real complaint about Paxil is weight gain. I am a pretty active person in my late 20s and yet I have gained approximately 40 lbs since taking Paxil. Though all SSRIs affect everyone differently, Paxil is notorious for weight gain. It could be because it makes it easier to sleep a lot more. It could be because it has the tendency to increase appetite (although even with strict dieting I cannot seem to lose weight). It could even be because this medication affects how carbohydrates are metabolized. Whatever the reason, many people gain weight on this drug. Is this a reason to avoid it? No. Your psychological health should come first.

Paxil helped me through the worst time of my life when my panic disorder became so unbearable that I became incredibly agoraphobic--I could barely set foot outside my house. I'm not saying this drug will make everything better, but it definitely brought my anxiety down enough such that I could benefit from the other crucial component of recovery, therapy. It also made it possible for me to once again sleep soundly at night, something I had had a problem with since I was panicking all day and all night. It really mellowed me out during a time which I constantly felt I was coming out of my own skin.

Now, however, I feel that, although I have yet to make a full recovery (lingering agoraphobia issues when it comes to longer distance traveling out of my home city), I feel I have gained some helpful tools from therapy that will allow me to deal with this disorder without allowing it to overwhelm me entirely. I will admittedly be taking Lexapro (a similar medication) once I have weaned off of Paxil. Lexapro is a lot less likely to cause weight gain and many people who make this switch do see the weight they gained while on Paxil come off.

Weaning off Paxil can be difficult as you can experience withdrawals from this class of medication. I had been on a pretty low dosage (20mg--10mg is the smallest pill) so I am beginning by going down to 15mg (with consultation with my prescriber) for one week. Tonight is night 2. I will continue to reduce by 5mg every week. This is a pretty slow wean but I just want to ensure that I get little to no withdrawal symptoms. So far I feel fine. I will begin with 5mg of Lexapro once I am down to 10mg of Paxil. I will consult with my prescriber once I've been on 10mg of Lexapro for a month to see if that dosage is therapeutic for me.

I plan to document my experiences and any weight changes I might experience here for any others who are contemplating such a transition. Again, I am quite active (go on long distance bike rides, commute by bike, hike, jog, and participate in aerobic and strength training classes at my gym regularly) and eat healthy (lots of veggies, lean meats, beans, nuts, seeds, multigrain high fiber breads and cereals, etc). I am 5'6" and currently weigh 177lbs, when I used to weigh 137lbs. I'd be quite content to weigh 150lbs.