Hooray!

I've been taking 20mg of Lexapro now for a few days and I feel so much better. This is despite being more stressed lately due to the anticipation of teaching for the first time (by the way, the first day went great). Hooray! I also got in for free counseling with one of the therapists at school. Things are looking up!

I was worried about the first day of teaching, especially since my mood had not been improving on 15mg of Lexapro so I got an emergency prescription of Ativan. I tested it out a week ago because I tend to have anxiety about taking new medications. I brought it with me to my first day of teaching but didn't take it and I felt fine. I was only nervous a bit before, but once I started teaching, it was pretty natural.

vlog

That cold really lingered for awhile. I was sick for over a week. I think my mood may finally be improving now that I have more things to do and people to do it with. I've been planning my Ling 101 class with the other grad student who is teaching another section of it.

I've also started working in The Agoraphobia Workbook and have started a vlog to document my experiences with that: http://www.youtube.com/user/SpeakOutDontFreakOut

Adjusting

I've been taking 15mg of Lexapro for just over a week now. The past 3-4 days have not been all that great. I think the adjustment to this new dose has contributed to feelings of depression, some anxiety, and sensitivity to light. My dad came in town to see me and we went to go walk around Lake Murray. The whole time I was distracted by how incredibly bright it seemed outside and I found it hard to focus on what he was saying. On top of this I felt rather depressed (for no reason at all of course). By the afternoon, I felt really exhausted. My dad dropped me off at home and he went to his friend's, with whom he stays when he comes in town. The next day, I woke up with a really bad sore throat, which got worse as the day progressed. I now have a full-blown cold. Not sure if I got the heightened anxiety and depression because I was getting sick, or if I got sick because of the increase in feelings of stress. Either way, I am feeling confident that once I stop being sick, my mood will also improve since I must be close to adjusting to what is hopefully my therapeutic dose of Lexapro. I am also considering asking my prescriber for a prescription for Ativan to help me confront my agoraphobia. I think just having them available would help ease my mind. I have also bought a couple books--Dr. Weekes' classic title Simple, Effective Treatment of Agoraphobia and The Agoraphobia Workbook. I need to start getting more serious about this stuff and take my life back.

Therapeutic dose

This past semester may have been unnecessarily hard for me. I don't think I have yet reached the therapeutic dose with Lexapro, since it has been a lot easier to have panic attacks. Things that used to bother me but didn't phase me while on Paxil have been bothering me again. Not sure why I didn't try upping my dosage until now when my anxiety threshold is even less. Managed to pass my courses with B's despite oftentimes white knuckling it and being unable to think straight. I'm done with classes for my MA program but still have my thesis to get through. I will also be teaching a section of Linguistics 101 in the spring so I really need to get my act together. I've upped my Lexapro dosage to 15 although my prescriber will not be back from vacation until Tuesday. I seem to already feel a little better though that may just be psychosomatic since it is probably too soon to tell. Upside is that I have been losing the Paxil weight, enough so that people are noticing and telling me.

Sans Paxil

I forgot to take my 5mg of Paxil last night so I'm just going to say I'm done with Paxil. No withdrawal effects so far (usually I'd be feeling it by now). Hooray! This is supposed to be a very hard drug to wean off of and I felt like I got lucky. The only rough part was this past weekend and even that was not so bad! Next up, to take off all the weight I put on while on Paxil. Excitement!

Almost through with Paxil

I had been worried that I would have to postpone decreasing my Paxil dosage to 5mg since I was experiencing some less than fun withdrawal symptoms over the weekend. However, I felt much better by Monday night/Tuesday morning and so I am happy to say that I have successfully decreased my Paxil intake to 5mg with no further withdrawal symptoms so far. I don't seem to be as on edge as I had been over the weekend either.

I have also been on 10mg of Lexapro for a few days now. I will remain on that dosage until at least my followup in November--I don't feel like an increase in dosage would be necessary.

Paxil withdrawals

I've been on 10mg of Paxil for 5 nights (tonight will be night 6) and 5mg of Lexapro for 5 days (tomorrow will be day 6). I've been getting dizzy spells (definitely the Paxil withdrawal) and also nausea whenever I eat anything (perhaps a temporary side effect of newly taking Lexapro or maybe Paxil withdrawal). I've definitely been on-edge since at least Friday (noise sensitive, impatient, easy to lose my temper) and so it makes it easier to have a panic attack, but, it's been manageable albeit exhausting. Hoping to go down to 5mg of Paxil Monday night, but if I still feel pretty dizzy, I'll delay that transition a bit. I had a very active week last week (lots of intense fitness classes and a long bike ride) with the exception of Friday when I started to feel not so well. All in all, it seems like my withdrawal symptoms aren't as bad as they could be and for that I am thankful.